Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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