like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
We are two peas in an std pod
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
