Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
