There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
