I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
