I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
