Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
