girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize