Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
