I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I just googled if crying burns calories
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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