Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
