watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
