Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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