I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
