I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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