You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
