Will you blow on my dice?
where am i from again
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
