i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
