Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
