So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
