She is in my trunk
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
