I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
