One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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