Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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