You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
