The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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