Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
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