I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
