How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Jerry, you need to find god
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
