fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Randomize
