You really coming over, don't trick.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
