garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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