I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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