she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
