At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
