He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
