Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
