Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
