Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
