belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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