just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
