Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize