I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
