O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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