Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize