just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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