He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
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