Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
