Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
