Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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