the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
