It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
