The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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