Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
