Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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