she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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