Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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