This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
