never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Randomize