i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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