weddingsv make me drug and hornr
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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