whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
