she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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