Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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