Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Randomize
