I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
