I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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