I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
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