On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize