Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
My balls are so social today.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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