make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
